Disciplining Toddlers from the Book: Discipline without Shouting or Spanking

There are seven techniques defined in the book Discipline without Shouting or Spanking by Jerry Wyckoff and Barbara Unell. And they are the following;

Beat-the-clock – since children loves to win, this motivational technique teaches them to win a race against the time. This technique reduces power struggle to parents and children, the authority is being transferred to the timer.

Grandma’s Rule – is derived from the axiom ‘when you work, you eat’. it is like saying; WHEN you have X (what the parents want to do), they you may do Y (what the child wants to do). Note: Never substitute IF to WHEN.

Neutral Time – When the child is calm or after at tantrum is finished, that’s the best time to teach a child a new behavior.

Praise – verbally recognized a behavior. Praise should describe the behavior not the child. Sample would be, “Good eating” instead of “Good girl for eating!”

Reprimand – short statement would be: (1) a command to stop the behavior, (2) a reason why the behavior should stop, and (3) an alternative to the behavior. Example: “stop hitting, hitting hurts people. Ask your friend nicely to give you the toy”

Rule – a predetermined behavioral expectation that includes a stated outcome and consequences. Example of a rule: ‘we put dirty clothes in the hamper when we take them off so we can keep our house neat and so we won’t have to pick stuff all the time.”

Time Out – to take a child out of a situation for a set period of time, usually because of inappropriate behavior. Typical timeout involves taking your child to a chair or room, setting a time for a certain length of time (approximately one minute for each year of age, up to five minutes) and telling her she must stay there until the timer rings.

I have been using some of the techniques and I really recommend this book to all the mothers or care givers out there. The book has problem and solving techniques on every chapter that I find really useful (i cannot write down everything here no matter how much i want to share the contents of the book. the authors might sue me for reprinting without permission, heheh).

So, grab a copy now at the nearest book store, the book costs P184 (est $4) only!

Discipline without Shouting or Spanking

I have issues on husband’s kind of disciplining our daughter. He is firm and his voice very authoritative. Mere mention of husband’s voice would make her behave. So the disciplining parts I always delegate that to my husband.

But there was one time when my daughter was acting too harsh and I being the spoiler cannot control her anymore. And it’s harder when husband isn’t around. I need to know how to discipline her too, I told myself. But I would always say no to shouting or spanking as a means of disciplining my daughter. So when Fedhz told me about this book, Discipline without Shouting or Spanking by Jerry Wyckoff and Barbara Unell, I was saved. She is an angel!

When we met on Misaki’s wedding, she gave me a copy of that awesome book. I have generous friends, heheh. I have been reading it every day on my every free time. I love its contents if only I can share all that I am learning from that book I would. Really, shouting and spanking is never an option in disciplining a child!

Grab your copy now. You won’t regret it!

No More Next Time

I was so guilty the whole day yesterday. I hurt yena but I was hurt a hundred folds. Felt I was the worst mom on earth.

The other night, while I was blogging she ran to me with the laundry basket on her head. She was imitating the zombies (on plants vs zombies game) – I found it cute coz she always do that to ‘scare’ me. Her toys were all over the floor so after 30 minutes I told her to keep them and put them on the laundry basket. She kept on ignoring me. Told her I am getting angry already – she just looked at me.

That’s what she always does since she knows I will be keeping all her toys by the way. But I should teach her to be organized somehow.. so I insist that she keeps her toys. She was so stubborn. That was the end of my rope so I hit her – not that it’s hard. I don’t hit hard that’s the problem. I just want to scare her but that doesn’t work.

So I walked out instead of hurting her again. It was hard.

I came back after less than 2 minutes and she was crying on her bed – cried while telling me – “please mommy help me keep my toys” ^_^

Coz after keeping her toys she’s back to her sweet self, embracing and telling me how much she loves me. I explained to her about the hitting and she did understand why I was so upset. Last night, she was so organized with her toys and books - no more reminding, no more hitting. She learned her lesson well, thanks God.

But i told husband that would be the last (of me hitting or scolding yena), he has to do the disciplining part forever. =)